The Spectator shut down this morning, April 1, due to arguments within the staff about the colors of the four main subjects: English, math, history, and science. Since the beginning of the year, members have argued over the “true” colors of each subject, but the conflict finally escalated to members refusing to work with one another.
Most students agree on two of the four subjects- science is green, and history is yellow. English and math are the root of the issues.
“Science is definitely green. Everyone in here agrees, except Logan and Taylor,” junior Lilia Pawuk added.
“I think science is black. I might go against everyone else in this class, but I will hold my ground,” freshman Logan McMullan stated.
Some say English is blue and math is red; others say the opposite.
“I think math is blue; it just feels very blue to me,” senior Tillie Averre added.
“Math is definitely red, it always has been and always will be,” sophomore John Fricano commented.
These arguments started at the beginning of the year, and they have gotten so out of hand that the staff has decided to go on strike until their argument is resolved.
“I don’t think I can work with someone who thinks English is red,” Pawuk said. “I refuse to work until this issue is figured out.”
While students spend every class arguing and refusing to get things done, Newswriting teacher Mrs. Jean Kanzinger tried to hold the class together, but has failed miserably.
“I think this is ridiculous. Our staff should be able to write and publish stories without foolish and boring arguments,” Kanzinger stated.
Arguments increased in intensity after Pawuk pushed junior Robby Kalman down the stairs on the morning of March 31. As he fell, Pawuk screamed, “English is blue, you Dr.-Pepper-drinking psychopath!”
Weigh in on the debate. Answer our one-question April Fools Day poll on our website.
